Peaches

There are few things in life that make a person really happy. Believe it or not, it isn't money or good looks. It is definately not thigh gaps or french manicures. It's the small things like chocolate cake and back massages and quality time.
In my case, it's a big and juicy Georgia peach. It's SO good. I never knew a peach could taste so good. I used to hate peaches. But now that I'm a Georgia native, I've been converted to the peachy ways. And it is bliss.
So, being the person that I am, I like to share my joy with others. So, i set off to make it known. "I AM A PEACH LOVER. COME, COME AND BE A PEACH LOVER TOO."
But sometimes, there are people who don't see the light...they don't realize what a treasure these beautiful and impeccable peaches are.
And so, I've learned that "It could be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be someone who doesn't like peaches."
You may have figured it out by now...but this post isn't just about PEACHES in the literal sense. It's about life. It's about you and me. Because you could be the kindest most generous person in the world, and there is still going to be someone who tramples on you and tries to bring you down. That's just life. It's something that I've been trying to accept. I want to be accepted and loved...by everyone. But that just isn't possible. I just have to make room for those who do love me and push out the ones who don't. Sometimes people aren't going to be kind. You just have to be kind in hopes of changing someone's heart and making them see that the world is so much better when you try to be the best you can be.
I've been getting so deep lately. Maybe it's because I really have learned to treasure those amazing people in my life...because unfortunately, there are a lot of people who aren't so friendly and amazing.
Anyways, happy life, happy me! All because of peaches...and my knew found view on life. Attitude is everything you know. Isn't that what they say?

A Change of Identity

Everyone knows that with youth comes great sass and sourness. In other words, teenagers are a pain in the butt. I just graduated from high school but that doesn't mean I'm a grown up. I'm still a stuck up, grouchy, sassy teenager. I think that everyone at one point in their life struggles to find themselves. As for me, it's been a real challenge. Recently I've taken a look at me. I just, I wasn't happy and I had to get to the real root of why. So, I started noticing the way that I thought and acted and I realized that it was awful. I didn't like who I was or who I had become. I was negative and moody and there's only so much that you can blame on PMS. I kind of had to take a really, really deep breath and change. I had to change fast. I realized that I was hiding in an identity that really wasn't my own. I think it all comes down to fear--fear of someone not accepting or loving who I am. But, I decided that I couldn't be afraid anymore. I had to re-invent myself. And what better way to do that than in a brand new place with brand new people and brand new air to breathe?
I've been trying really hard lately to be me, someone I'm proud of. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.
I've mentioned Georgia's abundance of trees. In a way, I think that nature has helped me to really see the beauty in this world. It's helped me to be grateful that I'm here and that I can walk outside and see the green mossy trees and the beautiful sun-kissed magnolias. It's sort of therapy.
I went hiking today and it started raining. And I didn't complain like the old me would've done. My feet were achy and we ended up hiking farther than we had originally planned. But I didn't mind like I used to. For a second, I really just lost myself in nature. And it was bliss.
I LOVE nature and I love the state of Georgia. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for making this possible.
I love you.

Me with nature! 

Clean Slate

There are pros and cons to starting a new life. Some people enjoy the idea of starting over, of being a new person with new friends and a new job and a new home. Others hate change and are content in being with the people already in their current lives.
Me? I'm right down the middle. In the midst of moving across the country, I've experienced joy, fear, despair, homesickness, happiness, contentment, discontentment, etc. It's a long list but I'm young. I'm hormonal. So, it's okay that I have a long list. It's normal that I have a long list.
The idea of moving to Georgia from my home state of Utah was, at first, beautiful. It was exotic and intoxicating. I had this image in my head that suddenly, when arriving in this new place, I'd be incandescently happy and I'd fall in love with an adorable stranger and have knock out friends within the first week.
But I'm young. This also gives me the excuse to be completely and utterly ridiculous. Upon arriving, reality set in quickly, quicker than I might have liked. And I ended up stuck in an unfinished basement with a high strung mother and hyper and rapidly growing seven year old brother.
I think life has a sense of humor. I really do. But, there are wonderful things about being here. It isn't all bad.
For one, there are trees everywhere. It's a forest in every backyard and the parks are practically nature preserves. The scenery is like magic. With the scenery comes a serene and peaceful feeling in the pit of my stomach and sometimes when I get really overwhelmed, I just look outside and remind myself to breath. It's easier in Georgia--there's much more oxygen.
For a long time, I guess I've just been afraid. I've held myself back because of it. And I hate that. Coming here, to the deep south, it's given me a knew perspective and I've realized that if I can't be brave, then I'll end up with nothing. And that, that scares me the most. My mom sometimes, when she's really frustrated with me, tells me to grow up. Oh, how I hate that phrase. But sometimes it's just what a person needs to, in fact, grow up, and stop being so scared of what might happen. I am done with being fearful of the future and of what people think. I'm done being afraid that i'm never going to find love. I'm done with being afraid of the world and I'm done with being scared to be alone.
This is my time, right now, with a blank canvas in which I will paint bright colors.